I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
