I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
