It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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