To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
