In the future we'll all be gay
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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