i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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