i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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