I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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