You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
