I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize