well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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