bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
