i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
