Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
