He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
