kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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