Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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