so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
