no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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