it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize