Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
