My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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