The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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