I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
