You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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