what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
