just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
