I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
