If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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