Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
