College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Rumble strips road head = magical
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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