is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
