5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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