you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
