dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
