I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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