We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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