Screwed.edu
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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