Who did Billy Mays play for?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
