you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
