Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
