I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize