of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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