TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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