and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
