I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
