but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
