After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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