Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
