I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
