your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
