I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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