there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
