My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
