I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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