I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
