Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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