i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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