We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
