Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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